Realisations over Croissants & Coffee

After six months of absolutely no contact due to our hectic schedules, I made the decision to meet my homie. I knew deep down that reconnecting with her would be effortless. There wouldn’t be any awkward opening lines, long pauses, funny questions, or monosyllabic responses. We would talk just like we used to back in college when we saw each other every day. That’s the thing about friendship soulmates, you don’t have to call them every day or meet them every weekend but you can pick up right where you left off.

While I was waiting for her, my gaze fell upon the bunch of cream roses I got for her, the soft cream petals were tinged with a gentle blush of peach that gradually deepens towards the centre of the bloom. I knew exactly what she was going to do with the roses, she’ll carefully tuck at least two of them between the pages of a novel she was currently reading and send me pictures of them a month later with a lengthy caption with pretty words.

After a few minutes, she hugged me from behind and just as I predicted we started talking instantly, as if no time has passed at all. She looked visibly exhausted, but her tired eyes sparkled with pure joy when I gave her the roses.

“So, what do you think of them?” I asked and waited for her reply.

She looked at them and said, “Exquisite sight to behold, delicate and velvety to the touch, love them.”

Yes, that’s how she talks. The positive effect of being an avid reader. I smiled, it felt so good listening to her talk so poetically after a long time.

She brought croissants and coffee for both of us. But whoever packed the croissants did not include napkins with them and both of us were equally incapable of eating croissants in public without tissues. No matter how much we try we end up having crumbs on our faces after each bite of the flaky pastry. We badly needed some napkins to dab our faces. I suddenly remembered the endless supply of pocket tissues that I have in my bag and took them out. The pain of carrying numerous items in my office bag pays off now and then and gives me the motivation to continue doing it.

“I know that you’re starving. But please break off a small piece of the croissant at a time and eat it, rather than biting into the whole pastry at once. And don’t even think about dipping it in your coffee.” I told her.

“Can we forget about etiquette and cultural norms for a few minutes? You need to understand that there is no right or wrong way to eat a croissant, as long as you’re enjoying it!” she replied. “But, I’ll do what you said because that lady just gave me a super judgemental look. This world would have been a better place without sticklers” she said ten seconds later.

“It’s less messy,” I said.

“What is?” she looked at me and frowned.

“Breaking off small pieces and eating them one at a time is less messy than taking large bites. Maybe etiquette isn’t that bad, huh?” I asked.

She looked at the mess she created a few minutes ago and said “I hate it when you’re right,” nodded her head and laughed.

The coffee was a pure sensory delight. The flavour was bold and complex, with a perfect balance of bitterness and sweetness. As we enjoyed the coffee, the pitter-patter of the rain blended with the hum of the passing cars and created an urban symphony. Despite the rain, the road was still bustling with activity, people were rushing to their destinations and the traffic became heavy within minutes. The unexpected rain and the sound of the honking horns may sound chaotic, but it was strangely comforting and I felt so peaceful and relaxed. Both of us did not have umbrellas with us, so we decided to wait until the downpour slowly faded.

“I’m planning to quit my job, people don’t get it when I say this because every job looks easy when you’re not the one doing it. I know that I’m fortunate enough to have a job related to my major and I’m supposed to enjoy it. But I have no sleep because of my long working hours and unrealistic deadlines. I’m aware that I’m making a lot of money. But I would rather take up a lower-paying job with flexible hours than endure what I cannot. And my manager is so adamant about not giving me a part-time job. So yeah, I’ll have to quit.” she said.

I was going to tell her about my plans to switch back to a full-time job and take a break from freelancing because I had this constant feeling that taking up a part-time job has made me less productive and deprived of a schedule. On top of that, the extra amount of money that a full-time job could provide looks enticing on those days when you’re clueless about whether you made the right decision. “Nothing is as good or bad as it seems” is one of my favourite quotes, and it’s absolutely true in this context. Ain’t the grass always greener on the other side? It’s a curious paradox—finding ourselves yearning for what we don’t possess, believing it to be the solution to our discontent. Yet, we come to realize that nothing is truly as perfect or flawed as it may appear.

“I think you should quit. There’s no point in trading sleep for extra money. I recently read about this concept called reactance, doing something you love on a schedule you can’t control can feel the same as doing something you hate. If you want to experience true happiness in your job, you need freedom, you should be able to do what you want, when you want, and with who you want. Freelancing will give you that freedom.” I told her the words that I badly wanted to hear, but it turned out to be exactly what she was looking for. She leaned over and hugged me tightly.

This conversation was a true eye-opener for me. I realized four important truths. First, I had no right to complain about the decision I made, freelancing is giving me control over my life, I’m doing a job I love, I have the time to pursue my passions, I can determine my working hours, and I go to bed peacefully. Second, appearances can be deceiving, and the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Each path carries its own set of challenges and rewards, and it is essential to embrace the unique journey we have chosen rather than covet someone else’s. Third, I became less productive because I decided to use the precious extra hours that my part-time job gave me to go after meaningless pursuits, diversions that gave me no sense of satisfaction. Lastly, I became unhappy with my decision when I started developing an inordinate greed for money, a desire I never thought I would succumb to. The desire to have more money increased my ambition, filled me with self-doubt and made me oblivious to the satisfaction that my flexible schedule was giving me. I need to reassure myself that control over my life, the ability to spend quality time with my family and friends, and happiness in doing things I love are not worth risking for making more money. The insatiable appetite for more has never made anyone successful, it has only ruined lives.

It’s funny how I never came up with these points on days I when would lie on my bed contemplating the choices I made and unnecessarily regretting problems that did not even exist. My friend had to share her terrible experience to make me understand how foolish I had become. I quickly pulled out my journal to jot down all the points that flooded my mind. She waited patiently until I finished writing. The rain had stopped. The streetlights cast a warm shine on the wet pavement. The colourful lights of the cars created a shimmering reflection. My friend’s face glowed with pure joy. The evening breeze gently brushed my skin. Sensible thoughts invaded my mind. What a beautiful day!

“Thank you” I told her.

“What for?” she raised her eyebrows and asked.

I was too overwhelmed to answer that question, so I did not. She understood, and without a word, placed her hand on mine. In that shared silence, words became unnecessary. Together, we gazed at the world passing by.

Melanie Ann George 🌼